While driving my sister back to her house after her baby shower, the conversation turned to how old we’re getting. She’s been married for about 5 years or so, she’s got a house and is having her first baby early next year, I lived in England for two years and am now working on a phd. Despite our being old people, neither of us feel like grown ups and we were wondering when or if that happens. I always assumed it would be when I get married or have kids, but if she doesn’t feel like a grown up, maybe it happens later, or maybe this is what being a grown up feels like. I’m not sure. I’ve never done this before.
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thoughts from where i am now 
I figure it happens when you actually have the kids and so can no longer be one yourself. I have two friends who are 35. One has a husband and two kids and the other is single. The first one is a total grown up and the other, not so much. So, Courtney will have to report when that happens.
However, the 35 year old mom was having a panic attack the other day about having to join the PTA, saying she wasn’t old enough. So never mind.
I feel like I’m 26 but I was born 31 years ago. So if, marriage, a house, two vans, a vespa, a cat, a dog and 4 kids hasn’t made me feel grown up, I don’t know what will!
~Rose
I figure by the time I find out, it’ll all be almost over. And a good thing to keep in mind if I am ever a parent. I don’t know any more than my parents didn’t know, but I didn’t know that.
I still don’t feel grown up, so Cate must be wrong. My parents are still alive therefore I am still a child and they must be the grown ups.
I distinctly remembering a few years ago having a conversation with Courtney in the car as well. I think it was just before her wedding and her telling me “Heather, I think I’m a grown up now that I’m getting married.” That statement was funny at the time, but we also thought it would be true. I guess come to find out it wasn’t true at all…
So it’s not being married that makes you feel like a grown up, it’s not having kids, and it doesn’t happen as long as your parents are alive.
So, sometime just before I die I might feel grownup.
Sweet.
back pain. joint pain. fixing up my house. coaching high school sports. These are the only times I feel a little bit “adult”. I think you only feel like a grownup if you try to be purely adult, when you abandon your childish ideas or refuse to act on any of them anymore. I too have had this conversation with my wife. I thought it was your 2nd kid, but not for rose, and i hope not for me.